There are a lot of things you hear over and over and over again as a new or expectant parent. "Good luck getting any sleep" is a classic, or "GET THE DRUGS!" and even "whatever you do, don't rock them to sleep!" While all of these and about a half dozen more got shared with you everyday whether the advice was requested or not, the great thing is, you can choose to ignore it, which in a lot of cases, I did. The one that every experienced parent always says (particularly older ladies) is that it all goes by so fast. This one takes the cake.
And it does. (I'm going to do my damnedest to avoid crying on my keyboard and try to stick to my usual banter, but I make no promises.) I've accepted that just when I get something mastered, she changes. When her sleeping is down pat, it's time to cut a nap. When she stopped falling on her face (this actually still happens quite a lot), she started slamming her fingers in doors. Once I've put everything just out of reach, she's to the next shelf. Oh, and the clothes, and amount of food they eat...you get the point. They are constantly evolving...literally.
I can handle all of this. I can handle the constant changes and need for adaptation. In fact, I like it. What I don't like is that I never feel like I will remember her previous stages enough. I have moments where I wish I could just slow it all down or bottle my state of mind or something. No matter how many photographs I take, or videos I shoot, or blogs I write, I will never get her just right.
When you see someone everyday it can be hard to notice gradual change. It's like that with kids, and then one day I will be holding her and catch a glimpse of us in the mirror and realize how big she looks in my arms. It is mind blowing.
I know it will just keep going faster, and in what feels like a few months, she'll be borrowing the car and asking for a tattoo (to which I will reply with a raised eyebrow and a quick flash of the then faded and saggy skull and crossbones on my back that I thought was super cool at 18). And boys (sorry Josh), and college and marriage, and then her having a baby. Okay, my heads about to implode.
In 24 days Tegan will be a year old. And in that year, she has never been away from me for more than 5 hours. You may think this makes me insane. It does. It also makes for an indescribable bond. And at 11 months I already find myself saddened by her independence...and then I remind myself that a little independence means the occasional happy hour with the bff, and a date with the husband, so I relax a bit. With turning 1 will come walking, and running, and expressing herself with more (human like) speech, sleepovers at the grandparents, big girl beds, mommy going back to work and a lot of other new things. And I'm beyond excited to see what the 1 year old Tegan has to offer. I just wish I could have had this one a little longer.
(341 days ago)
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